Last night I went to see the movie the Vow and my greatest takeaway was related to a phrase that Leo (one of the main characters used) throughout the film. “My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these … flashes of high impact actually end up defining who we are.” When I returned home last evening, this led me to think about my life and some of the moments of impact that I have experienced over the years. When I was 22, I thought I wanted to save the world so I joined VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) and was sent to Columbia, Missouri. I worked at a Rehabilitation Center with mentally challenged adults for two years but realized that my calling was with the emotionally challenged teens and children. This led to my first round of graduate school and a Masters in Therapeutic Recreation. I loved working as a Recreation Therapist and watching the kids have those aha moments that may have been a moment of impact in their lives. I moved to Kansas City and have spent the last 25 years at a residential treatment center/psychiatric hospital with emotionally challenged teens but left the field of direct service and entered management along the way. My moments of impact were related to watching the staff have those moments of impact that changed their lives. We all have moments of impact, whether it is related to our work, our relationshiips, our life choices or our decisions that we make. The thing to remember is that we are ultimately responsible for all the choices in our lives. And isn’t that the beauty of it, we have choices! Knowing that each day, when we wake up, our moments of impact are related to all the choices that we make moment by moment. Here is to a series of moments that are memorable, breath taking and inspiring. Have a great week!

Have you ever known anyone that complains because they receive too much appreciation? Me neither! In a recent management survey of over 200 employees, when asked what their number one thing was that motivated them, the answer was appreciation. When the managers and supervisors were asked to rank the same list, they ranked appreciation at number 8. There was a disconnect between employees and management. Why do you suppose that was the case? It could be related to how we show appreciation and how someone wants to be shown appreciation. There are three distinctly different ways to show the people you love that you care. First there is auditory. Some folks like to be told that they are doing a good job or that they are loved. Second is visual. These folks like to see something, a card, flowers, an email with positive feedback, some thing that they can hang up or put on their desk at work. Third is kinesthetic. Folks in this category need a hug, a pat on the back, a massage. They want to feel appreciated. Some people like more than one category or combination of the three. The important thing is to figure out what works the best with the people you care about and make a point of doing that on a regular basis. It usually doesn’t cost anything to make the effort to show someone that you care. The payoff is tremendous. You will receive good feelings and an overall sense of well-being. And the person that received the appreciation will remember how you made them feel. Find someone today and show them that you care. You will be glad you did.

Welcome to 2012! In the last week I have heard a variety of year end reviews, everything from, “It was the best year of my life” to “I am so glad this year has come to an end, it was the worst year ever”. Perhaps it is time for an honest appraisal of the last year and how you may or may not have contributed to your successes this past year. Take an inventory of the people that you surround yourself with the most. As Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I would like you to conduct an exercise that is from The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. Sit down in a quiet place and make a list of all the folks that you spend time with on a regular basis including friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, people that may be part of an organization or religious group. Once your list is complete, place a minus sign next to the names of those people that are negative and toxic and a plus sign next to those people that are positive and caring. You may see a pattern emerging as one area of your life may be negative or one may be positive. It could be that you have a mix of folks in different parts of your life with different energy. Now, here is the hard part. Stop spending time with the folks that have the minus sign next to their name. Life is about choices. You can choose to be with people that support you, nurture you, believe in you and help you with your dreams or you can choose to be around people that drain your energy. It is up to you. Choose wisely and here is to the best year of your life!

When I was a child, one of my favorite games to play was the game Clue. I loved trying to figure out who had committed the murder. Was it Coloniel Mustard with the candlestick in the library? I had hours of fun with that game and bought it several times as gifts when I got older for children of my friends. Life gives us clues everyday as we go about our daily routine. I call these a nudge or a whisper. The universe gives us a nudge or a whisper many times throughout the day but most individuals miss these clues. Pay attention to these nudges and whispers as you may miss an important message that is coming to you. I have found from experience that when I pay attention, the universe tells me something of importance or reminds me to get in touch with someone that I haven’t spoken to in quite some time. About a year ago, I had a nudge to get ahold of an old friend of mine so I began to try and track him down. Once I had found him, I toook my time getting back in touch with him. By the time, I had made the contact, I found out that he had passed and never did get a chance to have that final conversation. Lesson learned! Going forward, my inner guidance system is turned on and I am paying attention to the nudges and whispers. Be awake and aware and you will hear your nudges and whispers as well.

I just returned from sunny California where I was visiting one of my best friends who I met over 25 years ago. I decided that it was time to take a break and we have a standing appointment each year over Labor Day to give ourselves some rest and relaxation. I also am the queen of self care and was looking forward to a great facial along with a little shopping, reading and great conversation. I was pondering the idea of taking action to be successful and why folks have such difficulty in moving forward. I have to admit, I am a creature of habit and am most comfortable when I stay in my comfort zone. Lately, as a result of this work with Jack, I find myself becoming more focused and driven in relation to the next steps in my life. The steps that I will need to take will require me to let go of some old patterns and behaviors and continue moving towards my purpose and passion. Although I am excited about these changes, I must admit, there is a degree of hesitation that enters my thinking from time to time. When this happens, I remind myself that thoughts become things and in order to create the life that I want, it is important that I stay on my path. As W. Clement Stone (1902-2002) once said, “Whatever the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” Stay on your path and push yourself forward. Your life is waiting for you.

‘Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”–Mark Twain
I am so happy and grateful to be where I am today in my life. It is amazing what age and experience can do for your self esteem. There was a time in my life when I did not have the strongest sense of self and would criticize myself when things didn’t go as I had planned. Rather than look at the positive side, I would find fault with my decisions and end up in a downward spiral of unhealthy choices. Time marched on and as I entered my forties and then my fifties, I realized that all of my choices had provided a blueprint for my life path. My path had been up and down but with the development of my inner coach, my life choices now led me to a life of purpose, happiness and fulfillment. I have shut off my inner critic. I find that I have no use for her anymore. She does not serve the journey that I have enfolding these days. You can also shut off your inner critic when you choose to embrace the whole story. Rather then respond only to the anger and the fear, add the requests and the love. Allow your self talk to acknowledge that you are angry and fearful about something. But, include the request to yourself for a better choice and tell yourself how much you love you. When you have taken the time to include all four points, the inner critic will disappear. Here is to a life of love and joy.

I was reminded recently of the importance of dealing with your incompletes and messes. Every now and then a person comes into your life that makes a big impact. One such person in my life was over 25 years ago when I first began to work with emotionally disturbed adolescents in a small group home in Columbia, Missouri. His name was Ken Williamson and he worked the evening shift with me as a Youth Care Worker. Our job was to teach life skills, mentor and generally assist these young men in their life transitions to adulthood. Ken was warm, caring and truly understood the trials and tribulations of these young men. You see, Ken had a trial of his own and that was one of addiction. However, this did not define Ken. He went to treatment, made many changes in his life and found his calling as a Unity Minister, sharing his words of wisdom for many years. I had lost touch with Ken over the years and about two years ago, I started getting these nudges to call and reconnect with Ken. When I finally found and called Ken, he had just left one ministry and was moving to a new city. I waited and put the information aside eventually forgetting to contact him. Recently, I was at a seminar related to focusing on your dreams and met a Unity Minister that was speaking at the event. I asked him if he knew of my old friend Ken and he did but then said that Ken had passed about a year ago. I was stunned and shaken and drove home. Sure enough, there he was on the internet, an obituary explaining the cause for death but also a celebration of his life and his many accomplishments. I smiled and remembered all that we had done together so many years ago. When you begin to think about old relationships that may need one last conversation or you wish to reconnect with an old friend, don’t hesitate. Clean up the incomplete or mess and make room for more joy and abundance in your life. You will be glad you did.

When I was twenty-two, I thought that I had figured out my life purpose. At that time, I had completed my BS in Physical Education and Health and was working as a VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) Volunteer in Columbia, Missouri. I was living with ten mentally challenged adults as the Manager in a group home. I found the work interesting and challenging but also quite stressful as I was responsible for the safety, security and supervision of these adults. My role was to teach them skills so that they could function independently in the community. Little did I know that a few years later, my life purpose would change and after returning to graduate school, I would become a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist and work with emotionally disturbed children and adolescents for the next thirty years. My role would change during those years from one of direct service to administration. My tasks would become more about licensing and accreditation than time spent with the clients. But my fundamental core beliefs never wavered. My sense of self and why I was called to work with these children remained constant. It was simply about helping these individuals learn who they were and why they were here. It was about giving them the tools to become clear about why they were here and helping them to see a larger version of themselves. How often do you waver about why you are here and what you have been called to do? Do you know who you really are? Who are you? Who do you pretend to be? If you reflect on these questions and take the time to answer them for yourself, you will find a greater sense of purpose in your life. Start the journey and discover why you are here.

What does it take to get started on the life you have always imagined for yourself? As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step”. We often have a dream that we visualize in our head and begin to shape with ideas, thoughts and images. We know what we want but at times our fear gets in the way. We do not have to have a clear picture with a beginning and end. We just need to start drawing the picture. When we lean into the initial vision, the next steps in the dream will appear. I was driving home one evening from work thinking about going back to graduate school. I had an idea of what I wanted to do, something with leadership and change management. A commercial came on the radio talking about a graduate program in leadership and change management at a local university. I was a bit stunned as I drove into my garage. I quickly logged into my computer and the vision that I had been thinking about for several months was manifested on the page in front of me. Needless to say, I was enrolled by the next month and graduated two years later. I leaned into it and you can too. Just trust that the vision you hold will help create the path that you need to manifest your dream.

I was sitting in my office the other day, looking outside at the warm Spring day and I was thinking about all the opportunities that come with a change of season. Flowers bloom, leaves and grass grow green and lush, winter is washed away with the rains. It occurred to me that with the change of season comes the opportunity for growth. Did you know that is the reason why snakes shed their skin? Snakes shed their skin to allow for growth. They usually begin by brushing up against a rock or a hard surface and this creates a rip in their skin generally in the nose or mouth area. In most cases it comes off in one piece but can sometimes get stuck and create a build up. If this happens in the eye area, it can lead to blindness and then death. Do you sometimes miss an opportunity for growth? Growth can be scary at times and at other times wondrous and exhilerating. However, if you get stuck, it can hinder you from moving foward and making the necessary changes in your life that could lead to more fulfillment and happiness. Shedding is done with a purpose just as we can shed our limiting beliefs and old habits and move foward to our best life. Take some time to shed that which does not fit you any longer. Welcome to Spring!